Big, big, big, big changes in the Shelton house lately.  Jeremy and I have both started new jobs. Jeremy left the school district after the 3rd consecutive year of PAY DECREASE.  We are sad about this because Jeremy truly enjoyed his job and those he worked with but could not deal with receiving less pay each year due to changes in insurance premiums.  We don't see ANY changes in that coming any time soon, so he decided it was time to move on.  It's something new for him and I hope he will enjoy it.

I started my full-time job at the hospital yesterday.  It has proved to be very difficult for me to leave my office job behind.  I've been with Dr. Cutler for almost 3 years and have gotten close to a lot of my patients.  We left a group practice and burnt our own trail and I feel a sort of protection over the thing that we all built together.  My work came home with me.  It was not uncommon to send an 8 o'clock text message to someone.  "Did you remember this? " or " You need to be there at 7:30am."  We all had a sense of ownership in what we were doing and we wanted to make sure we were doing right by our patients, by our co-workers and by ourselves.  They were part of my family.

Dr. Cutler taught me SO, SO, SO much.  And only half of it was work related.  You can't be around him without learning something.  Anyone that spends more than 30 seconds around him will leave with some sort of enrichment.  He has insane patience.  He always allowed me to put my education first even when it interrupted what I was doing for him.  He never gripped about any time that I was away from work because of school and even pushed me out the door a few times to go study.  He understood where I was going and why I was pushing myself so hard.  He had done it for himself a few years ago.

It's weird to say that one of my best friends is a 40-something year old gynecologist but he is.  He's family.  And like all families, we have argued and fought.  There were times that I didn't like him but I've always loved him.  I worry that he spends too much of himself for the cause.  Its what makes him a kick ass doctor but also what drains him.  Don't bother telling him that though because he's also hard headed.

I'm going to miss the relationships that you get to build with people when you're seeing them for 9 months! We get to know you, your husband, your mom, your best friend that comes to appointments with you.  We laugh and we cry together and we are all honored to be a part of one of the biggest milestones in your life.  I have been touched by so many patients.  Some of them touch my hearts and some of them stomp on my brain.

So, I would like to leave some words of wisdom and share some nuggets of information that I've learned while being an office OB/GYN nurse:

1.  Pregnancy sucks.  There is nothing that is remotely fun about being pregnant.  The only fun part of being pregnant is getting pregnant.  The fun stops there.  Well, hopefully it was fun.  For some people it might have been "Meh" and now you're stuck being pregnant.  You pee on yourself, you throw up, it hurts.  Pregnancy hurts.  If you didn't know that let me be the first to tell you.  Do you know why it hurts?  Because there is another human being that is growing inside of you! 

2.  Don't come up in my office with tattoos and 14 piercings talking about "I'm scared of needles!  Hold my hand!!" when I'm trying to draw your blood.  Believe me, this tiny blood draw is nothing compared to what's going to happen to you when that spawn has cooked long enough.

3.  Don't call the office saying you're cramping/contracting at 32 weeks and then show up with pee-pee that looks like beer (Raising my own hand, guilty as charged, bowing head in shame).  Your uterus gets pissed off when you don't water it. A pissed off uterus contracts.  Please spare yourself nasty looks and eye rolling from L&D nurses all over the country and hydrate yourself. 

4.  You don't get an ultrasound at every appointment and don't try to tell me that your insurance will pay for ultrasounds.  Insurance pays for MEDICALLY NECESSARY ULTRASOUNDS.  You are more than welcome to pay for a quick peek but trying to brow beat the poor MA into taking you to the sono room will only piss her off.  See number 2, she will be the one doing that. Which brings me to...

5.  Don't piss off the lady who is about to stick a needle in your arm.  I would have thought that was common sense, but apparently not.

6.  Don't go into long detail about what's going on with your who-ha to the receptionist.  You don't need to tell the person answering the phone that you haven't had a yeast infection this bad since the summer of '92 after that long weekend you had on your brand new boat that you got a good deal on at the boat show.  Be short and to the point.  If you feel that you need to be seen today, then make that known, or if you're not happy with the time frame of your appointment ask to speak with the MA.

7.  Do know why you are there.  There is nothing more annoying than asking why someone is there and they say "I don't know".  Don't look to your mommy for the answer either.  Your mommy is not the patient.  You are.  If you're old enough to be at GYN then you're old enough to answer questions.

8.  Your baby, that is still in the womb, will not choke on something that you eat.  That's all I have to say about that.

9.  If you have Medicaid don't come into the office with your nails and hair did, a Fendi purse, iPhone 4S, iPad, driving a nicer car than the doctor and a bad attitude.  Nothing infuriates those of us who are paying for you to have your baby than a sense of entitlement.  All of those things may have been a gift, and if that's so then you should be in a better mood!